Resolutions, Shmesolutions
How 2022 knocked me off my resolution game and how you can avoid the same fate.
Well, it’s here. 2022.
Woo.
It’s not that I don’t get excited for the fresh start a new year brings but as we entered into 2022, we were hit with a fourth lockdown where I live.
Restaurant and event space closures, slashed gathering limits, and (ugh!) the return to virtual schooling for students across the board. This is not how I imagined this year starting.
Am I surprised? No. But I was hopeful.
Hopeful that we turned a corner and light was beginning to poke through the dark cloud that has been hanging around for too long now.
So as January 1st rolled in, my motivation to dig into my journal and write out my resolutions and goals for the upcoming year (as I do excitedly every year) was nonexistent. I actually spent all day in my pyjamas. Like, ALL. DAY.
Besides, the majority of people that make resolutions throw in the towel by the end of February or mid-March, at best! So why bother this year? It’s been a tough 2 years for all of us, we don’t need any added pressure. But after a few days of feeling sorry for myself, a switch flipped. There are many things we do not have control of right now. This is a fact. However, there are many things we DO have control over.
And how we choose to spend our time and energy is one of them.
So I decided to dust off my journal and get to work. But this list of resolutions looked different than past years. Normally, my resolutions force me to push outside my comfort zone, stretch me personally and professionally, and create an excited but nervous buzz about how I am going to accomplish all the things I just set out for myself. I mean, I’m a High Performance Coach — I live for big, hairy, audacious goals (a.k.a. BHAGs) and striving daily for growth. Raising the bar in how I show up every day is my jam so naturally, there were a couple of those that snuck in but as I sat and reviewed my list, it looked and felt different.
This year, many of my resolutions were to slow down instead of speed up. To breathe deep instead of holding my breath and pushing through at all costs. To look inward for peace and joy instead of outward for acceptance. To be in the moment instead of living constantly in the future.
These kinds of resolutions are just as important (if not more) than the lofty goals we set for ourselves. If we don’t have goals that support our mental, physical, and emotional health then how can we ever expect to have the bandwidth and steam to even begin to pursue those BHAG’s?
My challenge to you now is to resolve to put yourself first this year. Make yourself a priority so that you can take care of others, achieve your dreams, and live a full and abundant life.
You may be thinking now, “that sounds great, Alexis, but how do we set resolutions that stick?”
I’m glad you asked.
Resolutions around our health usually sound like this:
“This year I am going to finally lose this extra weight!”
“This is going to be the year I eat healthier and exercise consistently”
“This is the year I going to drink more water and be more active”
“This year I am going to go to bed at a reasonable time every night!”
Sound familiar?
Resolutions like these are destined for failure. They are vague, unmeasurable, and subjective. If you really want the best chance of sticking to your resolutions this year, I have 5 tips for you:
1. Get specific
Your goal needs to be specific so that it can be measured and progress can be tracked. So use numbers when possible (I want to lose 20 lbs/drink 6 glasses of water a day/get to bed every night by 10 pm/read 1 book a week) so that you can assess yourself weekly and celebrate your wins. When we can see progress being made, we are far more likely to continue.
2. Link your Why to your Values
There must be a compelling reason why you want to achieve this goal in order for you to stick to it. If your Why is not compelling enough, you will jump ship sooner than later. What are your values in life and how can you tie that goal to them? For example, if your goal is to lose weight and the only reason you have for this is to “look good” often this isn’t compelling enough to sustain the behaviours required to achieve this goal (otherwise, we would have accomplished this already). Let’s say one of your values is family and being a present and engaged parent. Achieving your weight loss goal will allow you to feel better, have more energy, and be able to play tag/get down (and back up!) on the floor to play/kick the soccer ball around and really connect with your kiddos on another level.
3. Habit Stack
Habit stacking is when you pair a new habit you want to create with an old, well-established habit that you already have. The old habit acts as a trigger to do the new habit until that habit becomes more automatic. We have plenty of strong habits to draw from. For example:
· Looking to up your water intake by 2 glasses per day? Put a glass beside your toothbrush in your bathroom and drink a glass of water before brushing your teeth morning and night. BOOM. Two extra glasses!
· Want to add meditation into your morning routine? Meditate for 5 minutes before pouring your first cup of coffee
· Daily exercise evading you? Go for a brisk walk as soon as you finish breakfast/lunch every day
· Want to choose healthier foods? After dropping the kids at school, hit up the market to get fresh fruit and veg twice a week before going home
The idea is to find routines that you already have down pat and add the new habit (preferably BEFORE the old habit) to it.
4. Have a contingency plan
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things go to shit. It is so easy to get down on ourselves and just quit entirely so have a plan in place before this happens. If you are trying to set a habit of going to bed by 10 pm every night, then allowing yourself one mulligan per week gives you that bit of wiggle room from the get-go and can help you get back on track quicker after a blip.
5. Build in accountability
We know accountability is a great way to stay on course, especially in the beginning. Share your goal with your partner, friend, neighbour, kids, coworkers and give them the permission to hold you accountable. If you want to take more time for yourself in the evening, let your partner know your plans in the morning — “I’m going to talk a walk by myself this evening after dinner” or “Tonight I am planning on soaking in the tub once the kids are down” — this will hold you accountable and set the expectation so that you do not abandon your plans with yourself if they suggest something else. You could even take it one step further and add a penalty to the mix. If you do not complete your commitment, you buy lunch for your co-worker the next day or your hubby gets to pick the Friday night movie.
Give these tips a try! I sincerely hope you set some resolutions for this year, if you haven’t already, and keep in mind that they should serve you and what you need right now.
Want some added support in hitting your goals for 2022!? Connect with me to see if coaching is right for you!